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Feb 04

Why You Need to Seek Other People’s Advice

advice

Sometimes the best decisions made come from other people’s advice

“The only good thing to do with good advice is pass it on; it is never of any use to oneself.”
― Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband

More than a year ago a former classmate and close friend called me up and said she had a business proposition.  I have looked for possible business prospects at that time so her timing was impeccable.  I was excited.

It took a long time for us to finally meet due to conflicts in our respective schedules and my excitement only heightened when I learned that one of my best friends have already invested in the said business.

“I have to be part of that!” I said to myself.

We’ve wanted to meet at a restaurant or the nearest Starbucks but we really had a hard time getting in sync so we finally decided that we’re going to meet in our house.

“Don’t worry about the food, we’ll bring something to eat.” she said.

She came with her husband and my best friend and they gave this very inspirational and highly motivating presentation.  I was already sold even before they finished.  Like Renee Zellweger’s character from Jerry Maguire when she said the famous line.

You had me at hello.

I invested a big amount of money and even used my credit card for it and things were really upbeat in the beginning.  I attended meetings and began doing all the work.

Fast forward three months after.  I wanted out.

It didn’t pan out the way I expected it too.  I didn’t realize that my schedule at work and at home would not let me do the business and make money out of it the way I expected too.  I began to regret my decision.  I kept telling myself that I should have seen it coming but I didn’t.

I’m still part of the business as we speak and I haven’t pulled out the money I invested.  I still believe that I can do this business when my schedule opens up a little but until then, that would have to wait.

We’ve all had this “I should have seen it coming” moment but why do we end up making the wrong decisions still?  Why do we end up on the wrong side of a decision when we were almost certain that we had everything figured out?

Don’t make decisions when there are emotions involved

People who are considered impulse buyers are the best examples for this point.  An impulse buyer is someone who makes an unplanned decision to buy a product or service made just before a purchase.  Studies suggest that emotions or feelings play a big part in the decision to buy triggered by seeing the product or a well-crafted promotional message such as discounts or buy one take one’s.

How many times have you ended up regretting a purchase soon after you realized that you didn’t really need to do one?

You didn’t see it coming because you were in the middle of it and your emotions have clouded your judgment and this is the best reason why we should get advice from family or friends before rushing into a decision.

Buying things from a grocery is not a big decision but what if you have to make a big one such as buying a house or quitting your job to get a new one?  It is on these occasions where we will need to seek advice from others because we need someone to tell us why this house isn’t good for us and why giving up on your job is not advisable at the moment.  We need an unbiased point of view.

Sometimes we are too smart for our own good

The problem with most people is that they think they’re too smart to make a mistake and sometimes, we even brag about it as if it was impossible for us to repeat the mistakes other people have committed.

For example, if a colleague of yours got the worst tongue-lashing from your boss, people in the office are so quick to come up with their own “If that was me…” scenario.

If that was me, I will do this…

If that was me, I will do that…

We’re very quick to point out the right course of action to take because we’re not the protagonists in the story but these same people would probably not do what they said they would if it happened to them.  Sounds familiar?

Human beings were gifted with intellect but no matter how smart or intelligent we are, there are some things that we don’t know that others would know better.

Big decisions need time and a lot of thinking

Unlike impulse buying, big decisions need time and a lot of thinking.  You have to weigh all the pros and cons especially if such decision will affect other people apart from you.

I don’t regret investing in the business I mentioned above (although for a time I think I did).  I’ve moved on and learned from the experience but if given the chance, would I have gone for it the same way?

Probably not.

I would probably have asked my friend to give me time to think about it and have a discussion with my wife until we can come up with a decision we would both agree to instead of giving in on the spot.

I would have probably asked for advice from an entrepreneur who knows how to make the best use of money and time instead of relying on my eagerness for an investment.

The Takeaway

As much as we think we know everything, unfortunately, we don’t.  This, as well as our emotions often lead us to rash decisions that we end up regretting in the process.  Know when to seek other people’s advice especially for decisions with a lot hanging in the balance.

Over to You

Was there a time in your life when you sought other people’s advice and ended up making the right decision in the end?

I would love to hear from you so feel free to leave a comment below.  Share your stories.

 

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Noel Rosos

About Noel Rosos

Noel is a husband, father, author, performance coach and self-proclaimed FAILUROLOGIST who helps business owners and struggling individuals convert their failures into opportunities through inspiring blog posts, life-changing books and exceptional one-on-one coaching sessions

11 comments

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  1. Lorraine Marie Reguly

    Hi Noel. I’ve found that marketers rely on evoking emotions and causing people to make impulse (and often rash) decisions. Many people get “sucked into” buying things they regret.

    The best thing to do, like you suggested, is to weigh the pros and cons before making a purchase.

    When I began offering my writing and editing services to the world, I didn’t try to sell anyone anything. Instead, I offered them for free — via guest posts (for writing) and via sample edits to authors (for editing).

    Eventually word got around about how *great* I am! Those that used my services (paid) even provided me with testimonials to use on my blog, as more social proof.

    The great thing about my decision to “market” myself this way has been a total lack of promotion on my part — others have promoted me so much that I don’t need to promote myself!

    This just proves that word-of-mouth marketing is STILL the best type of all.

    I’ll gladly take others raving about my services over ME promoting them… any day of the week!

  2. Isaac

    I have been in the same position where you opt into something without weighing out the pros and cons and get overwhelmed. You are right about objective thinking and seeking advice when it comes to the bigger decisions in life. You really have to put your ego aside and judge the situation for what it is. Nice article Noel you’re on a roll! 😀

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Thanks Isaac! Sometimes our egos can be become too big for us to think objectively. We think we know everything then end up regretting our decisions.

  3. Carol Makowski

    Hi Noel. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to look at this. Part of it depends on what we know about ourselves and how we make decisions. For a large amount of money, and three people coming over to talk to just me, I may have wanted to think about it and discuss it with my wife. Yet, you now say it looks like it will all work out. So for you, you may have made a good decision.

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      I agree Carol. My objective for this poat is for us to be open to other people’s points of view though ultimately, it will still be our decision to make.

  4. Alex Ford

    Great article Noel! I think it’s important to separate emotion when making big purchases. Or at least hold of for a few days until the initial excitement gets over, and then ask yourself if you still want/need it.

    I love that you mentioned to seek advice. That’s certainly something I’d do, however I’d be very wise when choosing the right person to speak with. For example, I wouldn’t speak with my mum about a new business venture, rather a mentor who’s having the success I want in business.

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Definitely agree with you Alex! We should go seek good advice from people we trust and someone who has the experience and wisdom to guide us in making the crucial decisions.

  5. Brian Krall

    I think this is a very important article. Too many people are stressed with being independant these days and do not want to let others influence them. I just caught one of my entrepreneural friends saying that “No one has influenced me I’m completely original”, but thats never the case, people do influence us, its just important for us to choose our influences. Those who are not making a conscious effort to learn from others and seeking out advice and mentors are not going to succeed. But so many people are egotistical and do not want to take advice from others, which is why most people are not succeeding. I think if people will just use the information in this article they would succeed greatly.

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Thank you very much Brian! Appreciate it.

  6. Sheena

    this helps for sure especially when they people who have been there before

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Absolutely Sheena!

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