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Jun 30

6 Signs You are Becoming a Negative Person

becoming a negative person

Are you becoming negative without you knowing?

“The more you complain about your problems, the more problems you will have to complain about.” – Zig Ziglar

Whether we like it or not, problems will always be a part of life.  Not one person can say that he or she is problem-free and this is perfectly normal because problems are there to test our character and make us see how far our faith will hold.  Depending on its severity, problems can either bring out the best in us or the worst in us.  That’s why attitude is always the key when it comes to handling problems.

Remember back when you were in grade school in your mathematics subject?  We all experienced the problem-solving part of it.  Do you remember how you coped with it?  I’m not really a big fan of math and I could honestly say that it’s the subject I had the most difficulty with.  I don’t know about you but problem-solving gave me nightmares during that time.  I would always complain about how difficult it was and how I can’t figure it out no matter how hard I tried.  Whenever I get low scores in my exams and my dad asks for an explanation, I would always come up with excuses like it’s too difficult or too complicated for me.  Truth of the matter was, I didn’t take it seriously.

I was talking to this friend of mine earlier and she was telling me about a colleague of hers who always sought her guidance.  This friend of mine is quite the busy person being a manager of a large team but she always made it a point to be all ears to people who need her help but she admitted to me that it can get draining sometimes especially with this colleague she was referring to because they rarely have a fun conversation together.  Every time they get together for lunch or breaks, this colleague always unloaded her problems on her and she said it added to the stress she’s been going through with work.

Math problems are not much different from real-life problems.  If you don’t have the right attitude, you can become a negative person without realizing it and the following are signs that you are becoming a negative person:

 

You complain for just about anything

From the traffic every morning to the volume of work, even to the air conditioning in the office.  When your problems are getting to your nerves and starting to affect you, you become irritated and frustrated.  When depression sets in, your patience shortens and instead of finding a solution to your problems, more problems come your way.  You dwell on these problems because you feel you’re not making progress and before you know it, you are complaining for just about anything which is a clear sign that you are becoming a negative person.

I’ve had the unfortunate pleasure of being with a person like this and after hearing that person complain for more than 10 minutes, I felt like my energy was drained.

 

You blame others for your short-comings

In your point-of-view, you did everything you can to make things work but other people, circumstances, destiny, and sometimes even God caused you to fail.  You’re becoming a negative person when you’re no longer taking responsibility.

You can read my previous article on taking responsibility by clicking here

 

You always find something negative about people

One of the signs that you’re becoming a negative person is when you suddenly become an expert on everything and you always find the time to highlight other people’s faults.  You gossip about people but treat them very well when they’re right in front of you.  Most of the time, this is because of either envy or personal hatred.  You didn’t pay attention to other people before but due to your own insecurities, you become critical of them now.

 

You’re always skeptical

Instead of being thankful for something good that happened to you or for something good that was done for you, you question the motive behind the good deed or the blessing.  There’s always malice every time someone does something good for you.  You think that people do good things for you because they’re up to something or that they’re going to take advantage of you at some point.  It’s exactly what a negative person does.

Sometimes things are just what they appear to be.  It is what it is and you don’t have to be paranoid about it unless you’re becoming negative.

 

You always have a pity party

Another obvious sign that you’re becoming a negative person is when you’re always trying to gain other people’s sympathy by having a victim mentality.  Your misfortunes were all caused by people who are out to make you suffer.  It’s as if everything in the world conspired for the sole purpose of making you fail.  Everything is always about you.  You feel like the world owes you something but you are not getting the recognition you feel you deserve.

Yeah, poor you!

 

You’re pessimistic

You’re always counting on things to fall apart instead of working out.  Your expectation is always that of the negative.  You always say the words I can’t, I don’t think so, what if I don’t, what if I can’t, etc.

You already lost even if the race hasn’t started yet.  You have low self-esteem and not confident at all.  You do not have a winning attitude.

My eldest daughter exhibited this kind of attitude early in her childhood and I’ve always made it a point to boost her confidence by telling her to expect success in her activities instead of failure.  I told her to always think positive because I noticed how timid she was in front of other children.  She’s too shy to participate in activities and I think my advice worked because she’s been active in the clubs she joined in school and she earned a lot of friends after.

 

Sometimes, problems can drive even the most positive people to negativity.  The key is to recognize when you are “turning to the dark side” and to be ready to reinforce that positive attitude when you do.  One good practice is to know which attitude of yours you consider your weakest.

In my case, it’s my patience so everyday, I would always evaluate and ask myself, did I lose my patience today?  To whom was I most impatient?

You could come up with a corrective action once you’ve answered those questions.

Always remember that we cannot control the circumstances or people’s we encounter but we can control our attitude towards them.

 

Over to You

Was there a time when you noticed that you were becoming negative?  What are the signs that gave you the indication?

I would love to hear from you so feel free to leave a comment below.  Share your story!

 

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Noel Rosos

About Noel Rosos

Noel is a husband, father, author, performance coach and self-proclaimed FAILUROLOGIST who helps business owners and struggling individuals convert their failures into opportunities through inspiring blog posts, life-changing books and exceptional one-on-one coaching sessions

5 comments

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  1. lynne

    i became negative after people didnt like my happy personality and picked on me all the time

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Hi Lynne,

      I can understand where you’re coming from because I’ve been in a similar situation. People can bring out the worst in us but it is really up to us if we would let them because pretty soon, you will realize that you are no better than them if you retaliate. Just focus on the positives. Focus on what you want and think less of those you don’t so your happiness won’t be compromised.

      Thank you for stopping by!

  2. Laxman

    yes, i have become negative these days and i really want to get out of it. Please suggest me how can i become more enthusiastic and have positive mentality.

  3. Laxman Shrestha

    Yes, i have become negative person. and i really want to get out of it. Please suggest me how can i be more enthusiastic and have positive mentality.

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Hi Laxman,

      Sorry to hear that but what’s causing the negativity? You have to determine that first so we can work on your mindset. Its a good thing that you decided to ask for help. It only means that you are willing to change. Let me know or if you want to discuss this in private, reach out to me on facebook. Otherwise just reply to this message.

      Cheers!

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