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Feb 27

8 Awesome Ways to Handle Criticisms

criticism

How do you accept criticism?

 

“The motive behind criticism often determines its validity. Those who care criticize where necessary. Those who envy criticize the moment they think that they have found a weak spot.” 
― Criss Jami

 

Dealing with criticism the right way

Do you get mad when someone throws criticism at you?  I bet you do.  Most people do.

You feel betrayed, angered, insulted.  You feel the need to defend yourself and prove your critics wrong.

This is a normal reaction to the given situation.  How you deal with it without losing your composure is not easy.  There are valid criticisms and then there are those that are meant to destroy reputations.  Whatever the case is, you need to get past the negative feelings and come out a better person.  Here are some tips on how you can properly handle criticisms.

 

1. Do not fight fire with fire

The common reaction to a negative, below-the-belt comment is a negative comment in return.  He insults you, you insult him and the cycle never ends until you come to blows.  If you take this route, you will end up the loser because that’s exactly what they’re trying to accomplish.  For you to throw dirt back.  Always take the high road and don’t stoop down to their level.  Most of the time, foul criticism is a result of envy and is not worth the attention.

I used to fight back those who badmouth me but later I learned that I’m not helping the situation and just igniting the fire.  Over time, I’ve taught myself how to keep my composure and to just ignore whatever I hear.

If someone’s feeding you the information, it would be advisable to tell this person to not tell you whatever he or she hears when you’re not around.  The lesser you hear, the lesser you get provoked to retaliate.

 

2. Ignore, Ignore, Ignore

Giving attention to negative remarks about you will only be a waste of your time and energy.  Hecklers normally stop when they know they can’t get your attention.  If they sense that you’re affected however, expect them to continue.  Don’t give these people the satisfaction of getting your attention and ruining your day.

Whenever you hear something bad, just walk away.  Don’t bring the negativity into your day by entertaining unfounded accusations.

If the criticism is valid and it was presented to you in a polite way, welcome it and tell the person that you will look into it and thank him after.  If you are gracious in receiving praise, you should also show the same attitude when receiving criticism.

 

3. Have an open mind

Not all criticisms are meant to harm.  Try to assess the validity of the claim.  Get the honest opinion of someone you trust like your spouse or your friends.  Treat the criticism more as motivation to improve than a shot at your credentials.  There are people who want to see you improve and there are those who just want to bring you down.

A good way to validate a criticism is to take the critic’s point of view.  Looking through their eyes will help you confirm if there is truth to what they say or if they’re merely trying to discredit you.

A critic with a valid point will tell you his opinion to your face because he wants you to come out better by pointing out your areas for improvement.

4. Don’t be defensive

Our egos will tempt us to become defensive.  Don’t give in because it will only make you look guilty of the negative claims being thrown at you.  You don’t owe anyone an explanation especially if the accusation has no basis.  You know yourself well enough to know if the opinion towards you is true or not.

 

5. You cannot please everybody

People will always have something to say regardless if you do it this way or do it the other way so don’t fall into the habit of trying to please everybody because doing so will take away your own happiness.  If you decide on doing something, do it for yourself and not for someone just to prevent them from criticizing you.

 

6. Smile and move forward

Instead of dwelling on negative opinion, just be more productive.  Concentrate on the more important things like your job or your family.  Thinking about it will only keep you from completing your tasks.  It will also affect your relationships because it will put you in a bad mood.

If they don’t like you, so what?

As long as you’re doing the right thing and you’re secure with who you are and what you can do as a person, you have nothing to worry about.

 

7. Action speaks louder than words

The best way to prove critics wrong is through action.  Taking their opinion into consideration should help you become a better person. Those with ill intentions will always look for your weakness and feast on it so don’t give them that opportunity.

 

8. Learn to forgive

Jesus was a victim of false criticism which led to His crucifixion and death yet He found it in his heart to forgive those who did him wrong.  Just like what I said in my earlier post about forgiveness which you can read here,

You can’t go through life holding a grudge inside you.  You need to release the negative feelings for you to find happiness and peace of mind.

 

I would love to hear from you so I encourage you to leave a comment or share your story below.

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Noel Rosos

About Noel Rosos

Noel is a husband, father, author, performance coach and self-proclaimed FAILUROLOGIST who helps business owners and struggling individuals convert their failures into opportunities through inspiring blog posts, life-changing books and exceptional one-on-one coaching sessions

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