Aug 22

6 Things You Should Not Be Expecting from Other People

expecting from other people

Are your expectations of others getting you in trouble?

What are the things you are expecting from other people?

Have you ever stopped to think about how there are people who simply frustrates you more than others?  It can be a friend, a colleague, a boss, or even your own children.  For some reason, these people always find a way to disappoint you even if they do not intend to.

Sometimes it’s  not really the other person who makes us feel negatively but mostly, it’s our expectation of them.  We have our own perception of what’s right and wrong or what’s considered moral and immoral and when other people’s behavior and reactions fall outside of our standards, we get disappointed because we’ve already set our expectations of them.  What we fail to realize is that people are different from one another.  We were all raised and built differently so to expect everyone to feel the same or react the same wouldn’t be fair.

We’ve all been raised to think that if you are kind to people, they will be equally kind to you but how many times were your expectations crushed because a classmate or a friend wasn’t as kind to you despite the kindness you’ve shown to him or her?

You must have been devastated when a colleague whose views you supported all throughout didn’t agree with what you have to say.  Whether we like to admit it or not, sometimes, it’s our expectations that gets us in trouble. Learning how to manage these expectations towards other people will help us in the long run.

Below are some of the things you should not be expecting from other people.


1. That Everyone will like you

One of the things we are expecting from other people is that they will all like us.  No matter how generous, courteous, kind, approachable and respectful you are, there will always be people who simply won’t like you. Some people may even accuse you of faking it.  Regardless of what they say, you know the truth and under no circumstances should you even try to explain yourself.

It’s a simple fact of life that you cannot please everybody but as long as you’re not stepping on anybody’s toes, you have nothing to worry about.


2. That everyone will agree with you

Another thing we are expecting from other people is that they will always agree with whatever we say or do.  Jesus Christ Himself had a lot of critics so what makes you so special not to have critics of your own?  People will have different opinions of who you are and how you carry yourself and you must understand that this is perfectly normal.  Yes, you will feel bad.  Yes, some of the words will get you discouraged but the best way to deal with such is to look at them from a positive standpoint.

Believe it or not, criticism can actually be good for you because it raises your awareness of what you could be doing wrong which you cannot really see if not seen through other people’s eyes.  These can actually serve as points for improvement depending on how you take it.

We all deserve to be happy and one of the ways to happiness is to live life the way you want to and not because you’re trying to live up to the expectations of other people.  As the late Dr. Wayne Dyer once said:

“What you think of me is none of my business.”

3. That people know what you’re thinking

One of the things we are often expecting from other people is that they should always no what’s going through our minds.  Last time I checked, no one can read minds nor predict the future so why would you expect people to do such? Your boss would not know your grievances if you don’t tell him so how can you expect him to come up with a solution without knowing the problem?

Would a girl you admire whom you’ve been stalking for months know how you feel about her if all you do is look at her from a distance and send her gifts anonymously?  That’s creepy by the way.


4. That people will behave the way you expect them to

The only way for you to truly appreciate other people is to let them be who they really are and not how you expect them to be.  Try not to be shallow and look beyond their appearance.

I remember the movie Shallow Hal when it comes to this subject.  In the movie, Jack Black saw people who had good hearts so to speak, as beautiful and handsome human beings compared to how he was in the beginning where he looked at people based on their appearance and not through what’s inside of them.


5. That people don’t change

You’ve been through a lot since your childhood days.  You played together, laughed at each other’s jokes and protected each other from the bullies in school so that should be enough to know that your friend would not betray your trust…WRONG!

Sadly, I had to experience this first hand.  I trusted a friend who I’ve known since we were little kids and expected his loyalty but n the end, I learned the hard way that people change.  Our priorities change and so does our needs and the friend you’ve known before may not be the same person because of these factors.


6. That people are always fine

Some people have the unique ability to stay calm and look normal outside even if they’re going through difficult times and our most common mistake is to assume that everyone is indeed doing fine because that’s the facade they are showing us.  This is one of the reasons why we’re so quick to pass judgment on others without knowing the whole story.

Just because someone seems happy and content does not mean he or she is not going through difficulty.  Try to know people more by building deeper relationships with them.  Know who they really are and what they’re going through so you will know how to handle them without being insensitive.

Learn to manage your expectations because people are different from one another.  Each individual is unique compared to others so you can’t expect everyone to behave and react the way you expect them to.  You can’t expect people to live up to your expectations just as you wouldn’t want to live up to other’s expectations of you.

Keep an open mind and have deeper, more meaningful relationships.  Get to know the person better and accept them for who they are and not for what you want them to be.


Over to You

What other things were you expecting from other people that got you disappointed?

I would love to hear back from you so at any time, please feel free to leave a comment or feedback.


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Noel Rosos

About Noel Rosos

Noel is a husband, father, author, performance coach and self-proclaimed FAILUROLOGIST who helps business owners and struggling individuals convert their failures into opportunities through inspiring blog posts, life-changing books and exceptional one-on-one coaching sessions

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    […] as mentioned in my previous post, is what usually brings us disappointment.  You can’t expect people to meet your expectations […]

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