“If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
One of the things that fascinates me about us human beings is our ability to pass judgment toward others when we ourselves hate it when others pass judgment on us. I won’t try to be a hypocrite by saying that I don’t judge people because I have and I still do and we all do this. Every time we meet someone who does not conform to our standards or beliefs, we judge them.
I’ve been judged the wrong way multiple times too and being a people-pleaser, I did my best to win other people’s approval even if doing so took away my happiness. I’ve battled this bad habit for a long time and personal development has really made me look at myself differently. It has helped me overcome my fear of being judged because in all honesty, it used to affect me when I hear people say bad things about me. I’ve been judged as being lazy, incompetent, I was even told I was stupid by a former boss and it really shot my confidence down.
You don’t have to take crap from other people and I’ve learned to go by this principle for some time now. It’s not easy to overcome this fear but it is possible so here are 5 ways on how you can overcome your fear of being judged by others:
1. Accept who you are – No one knows you better than yourself and this knowledge is more than enough for you to understand that what others say about you is their opinion and may not be true at all. People may see you in a different way but you know what you are capable of and as long as you accept yourself for who you are and what you can do, these opinions shouldn’t matter. It’s your life, your dreams, and your happiness that counts and not what others think you should be.
2. Be proud of who you are – self acceptance is one thing but being proud of you are and what you do takes you to a whole new level. If there’s one way to stop people from judging you, this could probably be it. People talk and pass judgment every time they meet someone different or unconventional but if you keep your head high and stand for what you believe in, these opinions will totally be immaterial. You will gain people’s respect once they see how much respect you have towards yourself.
I admire people who are into network marketing because let’s face it, others see them as “different” and “unique” individuals because they don’t earn money the same way a normal employee does and they get a ton of flak for it yet despite the negative feedback they hear from people, they remain proud of what they do. We should all have the same mindset.
3. Be happy – What does happiness have to with it? Well, it has a lot to do with it. Being happy with what you do and what you have become eliminates all the negative emotions brought about by the judgment people pass on you or your fear of being judged. Happiness takes away all the worries, the doubts and apprehensions you have inside your head. It gives you a sense of satisfaction that takes away the fear of being judged or labeled by other people.
I’ve had my share of critics when I started blogging. I was told I was weird and different and I totally understood that. In fact, I expected to hear comments like that beforehand. Why? Because not everyone gets what blogging is about and when someone doesn’t understand something, we look at them differently.
4. Focus on your goals – Don’t waste your time worrying what other people may say or think about you. Instead, focus on whatever it is you are trying to achieve. Set your sights on the result you are after and pay no attention to the negative things people say about you. Focusing on the more important things will take your mind off people’s criticism and if you really want something so bad, you won’t be giving too much weight on what other people will say.
5. Stop trying to win everyone’s approval – Before you make everyone around you happy, make yourself happy first and you can only achieve this if you do things your way. Be intentional, live your dreams and don’t allow others to take it away from you by giving in to what they want you to be. You will be living other people’s lives if you live your life according to how others want you to. Take ownership and live it based on what you want and how you want.
It’s common knowledge that we cannot please everyone. Our colleagues, friends, and sometimes even our own family may not be on board with our dreams and goals in life but this shouldn’t stop you from reaching for these dreams. It shouldn’t stop you from doing what you do and being who you are because your happiness is on the line. Living your life the way you want to and reaching for your dreams the way you want to will give you the fulfillment you are after and this fulfillment be far beyond your reach if your fear of being judged by other people eat you up.
Are you letting people’s judgment get in the way of your happiness? What measures are you taking to get over this fear of being judged?
I would love to hear from you so feel free to leave a comment or feedback below.
You can also share this content via twitter