Mar 05

How to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection

fear of rejection

How do you overcome your fear of rejection?

Fear of rejection defined

Fear of rejection has always been one of the most common psychological problems people face in their everyday lives.  It stems mostly from an earlier experience where the person had difficulties coping with the pain brought about by being rejected either by the girl who “friend-zoned” him, a company who didn’t hire him or by people he was trying to be friends with.

In such cases, the person suffering from this fear develops a need for acceptance or approval from other people and when this is not granted, they refuse to be engaged in a similar situation again because going through it is just too painful and traumatic at most

People suffering from a fear of rejection has low self-esteem, no self-confidence and is often depressed or upset.  He has a tendency to always self-pity and treat himself the victim of circumstances.

Below are some steps you can take to overcome your fear of rejection.


Accept and be proud of who you are

The common problem with people suffering from this phobia is they underestimate them selves and their capabilities.  You should be proud of who you are and learn to accept what you are capable of.  Don’t let other people define you.  You should be the one to define your self.


Don’t give up too easily

Most of the people who has attained success has experienced a number of rejections but what sets them apart is that they didn’t give up on themselves that easily.  They tackled failure after failure after failure until they reached the top.

Read a earlier post we had about not giving up by clicking here.

Stephen King, the best-selling author, received many rejections from publishers for his novel Carrie before it was published.  He kept all those rejection letters and used them as motivation.  We all know how he turned out to be right?

To quote Frank Sinatra: “the best revenge is massive success.


Rejection is simply rejection.  Don’t beat yourself up

Everyone’s been rejected at one point in their lives because its part of life but it should end there.  You were rejected.  So what?  Does it make you less of a person?  Definitely not.  It’s just something that we all should learn to accept.  It’s not the end of the world.  Move on.  Dwelling on it would only add insult to injury when it shouldn’t in the first place.

It will hurt for sure but you shouldn’t carry that pain for so long.  Get over it.  Better to go out with your chin up than walk away a loser.


Learn to find happiness on your own

While we do need to develop relationships with other people, we do not need them to like us.  You’re not living life if you will let other people live it for you.  You don’t need reassurance from others.  You won’t achieve happiness if you’re always looking to make other people happy first at your expense.

We can’t please everyone and it’s not our job to make everyone happy.  If they do not like you to be their friend, go look for other friends who will celebrate you instead of bringing you down.  You’re actually doing yourself a favor by not being friends with such kind of people.

Nobody’s perfect

Sometimes we fear rejection from others because we think that we’re always right.  Well we’re not.  You can’t be right all the time and it’s not a bad thing because we’re only human.  You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.  You don’t owe anyone an explanation.  It’s your life and whatever happens, you and you alone are accountable.  Even the mistakes you made.

If you’re ridding yourself of the chance to be rejected, you’re also ridding yourself of the chance to be praised because it’s 50/50.


Use rejection as your motivation to become better

Wouldn’t it be awesome if the company who rejected you would later pay you money for you to sell them your own company?

Such is the case of Brian Acton, a software developer who was snubbed by industry giants Twitter and Facebook.  After getting snubbed by these top social media companies, he founded Whatsapp, a cloud-based messaging company that is now being acquired by Facebook at a price of $16 Billion.  Facebook is also set to pay him $3 Billion.  That’s a costly mistake.

We should all be like Brian because he never gave up, didn’t feel down and out crying in the shower with All by Myself playing in the background.  He used the rejection as motivation to prove to Facebook that they made a mistake and that mistake would cost them dearly.

We should not fear rejection or associate it with failure.  The only thing to fear is fear itself.  Dwelling on the negative feelings of regret and self-pity will only drag you down deeper.  Always stay positive and believe in yourself.


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Noel Rosos

About Noel Rosos

Noel is a husband, father, author, performance coach and self-proclaimed FAILUROLOGIST who helps business owners and struggling individuals convert their failures into opportunities through inspiring blog posts, life-changing books and exceptional one-on-one coaching sessions

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