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Feb 20

Are You Having Difficulty Forgiving Others?

forgiving others

Are you having difficulty forgiving others who have faulted you?

Many of us do.  I used to be one of those for cryin’ out loud.  Sometimes, we remember the pain these people have caused us so much that we find it hard to grant our forgiveness.  “Hell, he’s not even asking for forgiveness!” one might say.

Maybe its pride, maybe it’s anger, but whatever it is, I learned that we can’t bear these ill feelings forever.  At some point, you need to forgive and eventually forget whatever harm was done to you.

I have a friend who got separated from her husband a few years ago.  They had a daughter who was still very young at that time.  Her husband left them and had a relationship with another woman.  My friend eventually had her own relationship too.  A few years passed and both of their relationships soon ended.  Their daughter is now all grown up.  Her husband apparently had a realization that family outweighs everything and slowly tried to work his way back into their fold.   My friend, who was still bitter over what happened between them in the past found it in her heart to forgive him and take him back.  They’re now living as a family again.

After my father died ten years ago, my mother and I had a falling out.  Stinging words were said and feelings were definitely hurt.  I was so hurt, I vowed not to speak to her again.  My eldest daughter was around 2 years old during this time.  My mother and I did not speak for three years until my second daughter was born.  She reached out to us, visited my wife in the hospital, visited the baby after we got home.  We didn’t say anything to each other.  On the baby’s christening, we reconciled.  I just hugged her and never brought up anything that happened three years back.

A friend of my dad’s back when he was still alive came home from the office unexpectedly and caught his wife cheating with one of his friends.  He was so furious he passed out.  They separated and is now living with their own partners.  What’s amazing is that despite the circumstances surrounding their separation, they’re friends.  They even go out to dinner together with their new partners and their son.

Forgiving others is not easy but it is also not impossible.  We can’t go around living our lives with hate and anger inside us.  Yes, it will hurt at first, it will take some time, but sooner or later, you have to let it go.  If God can forgive, who are we not to?  We’re only humans.  It would be arrogant for us to not forgive when God himself can.  It doesn’t matter who makes the first move or who says sorry first.  You have to leave it all behind you and move on.

If you are ever in a spat or a misunderstanding with someone, just let it go.  Make the first move and forget whatever happened.  You’ll find out how great a feeling it is to live with joy inside you.  As the tagline of this blog goes, Happiness is a choice.  If you choose to dwell on the negative aspects of your life, you will never find peace.

Noel Rosos

About Noel Rosos

Noel is a husband, father, author, performance coach and self-proclaimed FAILUROLOGIST who helps business owners and struggling individuals convert their failures into opportunities through inspiring blog posts, life-changing books and exceptional one-on-one coaching sessions

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  1. Noel Rosos
    Noel Rosos

    Thanks. Been busy putting up my self-hosted site. Only had time to read today

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