Jul 16

Are You with the Right Kind of Friends?

kind of friends

Are your friends a good influence to you?

Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are

Back in my teenage years, I was always the subject of jokes among my friends because according to them, my parents were too strict.  They actually had a point because back in those days, in a time where all of my buddies were busy going to parties and meeting lots of girls, I was at home either watching television or playing video games.

I didn’t go out much because whenever I ask for my parents’ permission, the first question they always asked was “who will you be going with?” and when I tell them who, the answer would always certainly be a resounding NO and I can’t blame them because that was a time when some of my friends were going through some “experimental” stage (you know what that means come on!) and as parents, they were naturally worried that I might get influenced into doing illegal stuff.

Of course as a kid, I was stupid not to understand my parents’ point of view but now that I’m a parent myself, I can definitely see the big picture because this happened with my eldest daughter not so long ago.  Some of the girls from the neighborhood were inviting her to come with them and my wife and I didn’t allow her to go because we are aware that these girls, as young as they are (between 10 to 13 years old) stays out until the late hours of the night chatting in the middle of the road with some boys.  I didn’t want my daughter to behave that way so I told her she can’t go but explained to her the reasons behind our decision.

We’ve all been through this stage and we were too young to understand back then why our parents were being over-protective of us.  According to Andy Stanley, acceptance leads to influence and this is so true.  When you are with friends, you feel accepted because they took you in and sooner or later, this acceptance you were given can lead to influence because when you’re with friends, you’re vulnerable and you let your guard down and this makes you easy to influence.

In a previous blog post on being in the company of good people, I gave you a list of the kind of people we should be hanging out with and those that we shouldn’t and this is pretty much the same.  The only difference is that this article is more focused on people who has influence over you and how they can affect you as a person.

Here are some points to consider in determining what kind of friends you have and if they are actually good for you:


A person who couldn’t care less about his health wouldn’t care much about yours

If you’re friends with people who abuse illegal substance and drinks too much alcohol, you should consider looking for others.  These people abuse their body and health without thinking of the consequences.  They’re in for the temporary happiness their actions bring so what makes you think that they would care if you gamble with your own health?

Do you remember how you learned how to smoke?  It was probably in a group discussion or chat where you so wanted to belong that when they offered you a stick to try, you couldn’t say no.  Right?

Be with people who gives importance to their health.  People who exercise regularly and always eat the right kind of food.  Their influence will definitely lead you to the right direction concerning your mind and body.


A person who couldn’t care less about their family wouldn’t care much about yours

For those of us who are married, especially for the guys, whenever there’s a party or a conference you’re going to, they always ask who you’re going to be with don’t they?

My wife does it all the time and I would bet my bottom dollar you wives does too.  Why?

Because they know that us men are easy prey to temptation.  With the right amount of prodding and pushing, we can forget all the values we’ve learned growing up about loyalty and honesty.  People who engage in extra-marital affairs are not afraid to gamble on their family’s welfare and they sure won’t be scared taking risks on yours.

Be friends with someone who lives for their family instead.  Someone who loves to talk about their spouse and kids, someone who takes pride on being a family man or a full-time mother.


A Fool

According to the Bible, a fool is a person who understands the difference between right and wrong but doesn’t care.  Fools are reckless.  They do not consider the consequences of their decisions and have poor judgment.  They just do what makes them happy without thinking of the possible effects these would have.

They couldn’t care less about what their decisions can result to, what makes you think they will care much about the results of yours?

Be with wise people instead.  People who understands that life is connected and that the decision they make today can make or break tomorrow.  They have better judgment and are accountable for their actions or inaction.  They are people who knows the difference between right and wrong but always seeks to do what is right and just.

Our friends influence us in a big way.  Their influence can be that strong that it can make us change our beliefs and force us to think and act against our own values.

Ever heard your partner or spouse say “you’re different when you are with them”?  That’s an indication of how much our friends influence us so you have to be careful in choosing the people you are friends with because they have the ability to lead you to success or drag you down to failure.


Over to You

How did you deal with friends whom you felt were bad influences?

I’d love to hear from you and I would love it if you can leave a comment or feedback below so we can share our views and opinions on this article.

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Noel Rosos

About Noel Rosos

Noel is a husband, father, author, performance coach and self-proclaimed FAILUROLOGIST who helps business owners and struggling individuals convert their failures into opportunities through inspiring blog posts, life-changing books and exceptional one-on-one coaching sessions


1 ping

  1. Steve

    Be wise with people – I love that saying; It’s so true. If only I had realized that when I was younger. Growing up, I had to steadily come to terms with who was a good friend and who wasn’t. That lead to some pain and heartache along the way and some broken ties. But, in the end, it’s completely worth it. You don’t want to hang around someone who is constantly bringing you down. A good friend makes you feel better about yourself and brings you up. If only we could all be such good people to each other.

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      thank you for your comment Steve. We really have to hang with the right crowd for us to live a good life. Friends are such strong influences that going with the wrong ones affect us so much.

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