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May 24

Why You Need to Stop Avoiding Your Problems

problems

Why do you keep avoiding your problems?

“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Problems, like day and night, are part of life and no matter how much you try to avoid, hide, or run from it, you’ll eventually have to face it.  So why delay the inevitable?

Is it because of the pain or discomfort or both?

You probably have several reasons – or excuses – on why you are terrified to face every trial that comes your way but at the end of the day, there really is no other choice but to take them head on.

I’ve struggled to overcome this habit for a long time and despite my venture into personal development, I still fall into this escapism trap from time to time.  You see when a big project or a difficult task awaits me, I look at it with much anticipation although not the “excited” type but more of a “please-don’t-come” and “I’m so terrified” way.

Dread consumes me in ways you can’t imagine.  There’s this feeling of not wanting to face the music combined with “let’s-just-get-this-over-with” emotions.  It’s crazy! (yup, paranoia at it’s best)

Five years ago we were enjoying our dinner when my wife playfully tickled me by pressing her index finger in my stomach area and in doing so, felt a small lump just below my right rib and being nursing graduate, she knew what it was the moment she touched it.

She encouraged me to get it checked out and it took some time before she finally got me to agree.  I always managed to come up with an excuse every time the topic got picked.  I was busy, I’ve got a project, let’s do it next time, you name it but I would have to admit that at the back of my head, I really wanted to get it over with but the problem was, I WAS SCARED!

I’ve never been under the knife before and even if this procedure wouldn’t be considered a major surgery because the cut would be superficial, it still scared the hell out of me but I thought it over and being the paranoid that I was, I thought to myself, what if the lump was cancerous? 

I’d never really know if I don’t go to the doctor don’t I?  Well, that’s when having kids come in handy because when it comes to their future, there’s nothing a parent would do to make sure that they’re secured.

After weeks of convincing, I finally gave in.  I went to the doctor and I got the lump removed through an out-patient procedure.  The biopsy came out the following week and it was considered benign.  THANK GOD!

I would have given myself some peace of mind had I agreed to go to the doctor earlier but I think we’re all stubborn that way sometimes.  We all know what will be good for us but we still choose the other option.  We give ourselves things to worry about even if that thing isn’t really worth an ounce of our worries.

Why do you need to stop avoiding your problems and not prolong the agony?  Here’s why:

 

It’s a waste of time

Time is such a precious commodity and it wouldn’t help your cause to waste it by continuing to be in denial even when all the signs you need are already right in front of you.  The sooner you accept the situation, the faster you can heal an eventually, overcome your problem.

If you girlfriend or boyfriend left you, it would be easier to move on by accepting that it’s over than pretending that everything’s fine and that he or she will be back in front of your doorstep tomorrow begging you to take them back. You’ll be doing yourself a huge favor by spending your time wisely in getting over them than holding on to something that you know is already gone.  It all begins with acceptance and if you can do that right away, the better it would be for you.

 

It delays your growth

I haven’t known someone who didn’t have problems even if they are wealthy enough to buy their own country.  You may view problems as setbacks but if you look at it from a positive perspective, they are actually stepping stones towards a better you.

I’m not an overly religious person but I do believe in the saying that everything happens for a reason as cliché as that may sound and I believe that these problems, hardships or whatever you want to call them were put in your path to build your character and make you a better and stronger person.  Each of these problems comes with a lesson that we charge to experience and treasure for the rest of our lives so the next time you try to avoid your problems, know in your mind that in doing so, you are also ridding yourself of the opportunity to grow.

 

It shatters your confidence

Whenever I’m faced with a difficult and daunting circumstance, I always tell myself that these wouldn’t be sent my way if I can’t overcome it.  I believe that every problem we face has a corresponding solution and that avoiding them is a sign that you don’t trust yourself to solve it.

Talk to yourself (of course do it private and not out loud) and tell yourself that you can do it and that whatever’s happening will soon be over and that no one else can help you solve these problems but YOU.

 

It disrupts your happiness

The more you delay or avoid your problems, the more you get worried and the more you get worried, the less you’d be happy.  Don’t let the size of your problems consume you.  Don’t give it too much credit.  Instead, treat it as what it really is without the drama.  It’s a problem, recognize it as it is and just like any other problem, it has a solution and it has an end.  It may not end as soon as you think but rest assured, it DOES have an end.

 

Over to you

Are you avoiding a problem or difficulty you’re facing now?

How do you do it?

You have to man up and face the music!  Get rid of the drama because no matter how difficult you think this problem may be, in the end it’s still is just what it is.  A problem.  A setback that you have to accept as reality,  an adversity you have to overcome.  Get it over and move on to the next because that’s how life is.  The important thing is that you learn from each setback and you become a better person for each problem you solve.

 

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Noel Rosos

About Noel Rosos

Noel is a husband, father, author, performance coach and self-proclaimed FAILUROLOGIST who helps business owners and struggling individuals convert their failures into opportunities through inspiring blog posts, life-changing books and exceptional one-on-one coaching sessions

2 comments

  1. awazieikechi

    Hi Noel

    Avoiding problems never solves any issue. It is best you face them because problems have Gold nuggets hidden in them. Love your story and it is great that you agreed to do the operation.

    Thanks for sharing. Take care

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Thanks Ikechi!

      Absolutely agree. Problems may present itself as hindrances but if you look past that facade, you’ll find benefits in going through them. As for the operation, that was just me being scared hehehe.

      Appreciate your comments as always.

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