“Tolerance is nothing more than patience with boundaries.”
― Shannon L. Alder
We’ve all been raised to behave properly and to be nice to the people we meet. We were taught how to be kind and courteous towards others and to be respectful at all times. We carried this idea in our heads from the time we were children until we became adults and it all became second nature but we all know that in life, everything should be done in moderation. We should always look to strike a certain balance in everything we do and that includes being kind and being nice.
Being too nice to everyone can become a disadvantage and thus, hurt you in the process. The following are signs that your being nice is working against you:
1. People starts taking advantage of you – one of the disadvantages of being too nice is that everyone will see you as weak and inferior. People will start taking advantage of your kind attitude to the point of abusing it. They will walk over you and disrespect any boundaries you may have because they no that you won’t budge regardless of what they do to you.
This is why it is very important to know how to say “No” because in doing so, you are giving people the impression that you are not the kind of person they can just push or bully around.
This is one of my bad habits that I’ve been struggling to overcome to be quite honest and as I go along, what I learned is you need to set clear boundaries from the very beginning. Muster up the courage to let people know how much you can tolerate and where they need to draw the line.
2. Others begin to doubt your intention – being too nice can also be considered a red flag because it raises doubts about your true intention. People may misunderstood your unrealistic gestures of kindness and thus, begin to question your true motives.
Would you trust anyone who’s being too nice for no reason? Well I won’t. The first question I will ask myself is “what’s the catch?”
3. You’re developing false expectations – being too nice and putting other’s interest above yours can mess your head up and lead you to expect that others will do the same for you. You begin to misinterpret other people’s actions and begin to label them as mean and unkind the second they don’t come up to your expectations.
Be realistic. You can’t expect others to catch a bullet for you the same way you will do for them. In the same manner, you can’t expect people to be equally nice to you just because you are overly nice and accommodating to them.
4. You’re not giving yourself the break you deserve – Just like what Whitney Houston said in perhaps her most famous song, “learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.”
Love yourself and put your joy above others. That’s not being selfish. It’s pointless to always put other people’s happiness over yours when deep inside, you’re hurting and feeling miserable. Before you start considering other people’s feelings, look at yours first.
Will you be happy doing something that will make them happy?
The purpose of this blog post is to help you realize that there’s nothing wrong in being nice and that it is actually an admirable trait but you have to be aware on where you draw the line. By being too nice, you are putting your happiness in jeopardy from people who will look to take advantage of you and abuse your kindness in every way they can. It is sad to think that there are people like this but you must be realistic because they do exist and they are all around you.
What was the worst thing being overly nice has brought you?
I would love to hear your thoughts so feel free to leave a comment or feedback below. I will truly appreciate it if you do.
You can also share this content via twitter