Jul 12

8 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation For

owe anyone an explanation

Are you living life according to what you want or what other people want?

“You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows.”
― Mandy Hale


You don’t owe anyone an explanation

One of the most important things in a child’s development is the approval he or she gets from his or her parents.  It’s a definite morale booster to know that they support you in what you want to do with your life.  This is the reason why as parents, we set aside some quality time to show our support for our kids’ school programs, summer workshops and football games.

Just this summer, we enrolled our daughter Kylie in a summer volleyball workshop led by some of the more popular collegiate women spikers here in the Philippines.  She loves volleyball, she talks about it all the time even if I don’t have an idea who these players are because I don’t follow the sport so when the opportunity presented itself, my wife and I didn’t think twice.

It feels great to get the support of your loved ones especially when it comes to something you truly love but we all know that in life, not everyone, and sometimes even your own loved ones, will support your dreams.  Not everyone will be happy with your performance.  Not everyone will like the way you carry yourself and it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to prove yourself to others so that you can get them on your side which is absolutely wrong.

Why would you sacrifice your happiness for other’s approval?  I have to be honest in saying that I was this kind of person before – always trying to please everyone.  Always trying to explain myself and wanting to be accepted in all circles.

We don’t owe anyone an explanation.  We have to live life the way we want to, not the way others do.  Here are 8 things we don’t owe anyone an explanation for:

Why you are the way you are

We were all created as unique individuals and we each have our own strengths and weaknesses that sets us apart from the person sitting next to us at the bus stop, at the church, or at work.  We all carry ourselves differently and as long as we’re not violating any laws or committing any crime, we’re free to be who we are so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

It’s sad to see that some people are still fickle-minded when it comes to seeing people with tattoos or long, braided hair and piercings by labeling them as drug addicts or convicts.  We’re in the 21st century.  Everyone’s free to express themselves and if they want to have their shoulders heavily tattooed or have a nose ring dangling between their nostrils, that’s their choice and it’s unfair to label them or use negative adjectives to describe them.


Our weirdness

People have varying definitions of the word “weird” and this is mostly attributed to something or someone unconventional or out of the norm.  It is therefore subjective, which means what may be weird for others isn’t in other people’s eyes.  Again, so what?

I’ve been branded weird a couple of times and I don’t really care.  Just because I love to be alone sometimes and spend my time doing things like writing and graphic design doesn’t mean I’m evil right?

I’m a glorified nerd and I’m proud to be one!


Our sensitivities

People will take notice if you’re too emotional.  When you easily get offended or if you cried when you saw Jack sink to the bottom of the ocean even if he and Rose can actually fit on top of that floating door in the Titanic, people remember.  But then again, some will call you out for being cold and stiff.

Either way, people will say something.

“Why are you so emotional?”

“Are you really that sensitive?”

Either way, it’s none of anybody’s business.  So if you’re a guy in touch with his feminine side and loves to watch chick flicks, just go ahead.  You don’t owe anyone an explanation.


The choices you made

Some people have this really disgusting habit of doing comparisons.

“Why are you still single?”

“Pete is already a manager, why are you still not in the same level?”

“Our friends are all abroad man, why are you still here.”

We all have our own lives to live.  We each have our own preferences and no matter how our lives turned out to be, we are responsible for it.  Never fall into the comparison trap.

Just because your friends do it doesn’t mean you have to do it too.


The dreams you’re pursuing

People are biased when it comes to things that they do not commonly see and if your dream or passion is something that falls under this category, they may not be received well by others.

This is especially true if your dream will not earn you the kind of money you will from being an investment banker, a lawyer or a doctor.  This is typical for artists and musicians.  People will try to discourage you and tell you to look for something that will put food in the table and they may be right but it all depends on you.  As long as you can take responsibility for your actions and this will make you happy, you should care less of what people have to say or the explanation you need to give them.


Your spouse or the person you’re dating

Just like the theme of several romantic movies we love, we all spend our lives looking for THE ONE.  Someone who will complete our existence and be our partner for life.  Someone we’ll be starting a family with and live with until we’re both in our deathbeds.

We all want to make the most out of life so why would you choose to live with someone who won’t make it all worth for you?


Our failures

We all make mistakes because nobody is perfect and as careful as we want to be, we are bound to make more mistakes and this is something you shouldn’t be ashamed of because it makes you human.  The good thing with failure is that it’s not permanent and you can always go back and try again until you get it all right.

We don’t have to make excuses for these mistakes.  We just need to find a way to avoid repeating them.


Our weight

With the influx of weight-loss programs and the unexpected popularity of running (I’ve never seen so many people run as much as they do today.  I see people running before I go to work and on my way home from work.  It’s crazy) people have never been so engrossed with fitness like they do today.

Everyone wants to fit well in their bikinis, have abs that look like those of the superheroes we see in comic books, and arms with perfectly-toned muscles.  Some people have the drive and persistence to achieve these things but then again, most of us don’t.  Yes, we exercise, yes we ride our bikes in the morning, and yes, we do our yoga but we may not achieve that look and weight we oh so want in the fastest time possible.

If you want to lose weight, do it for the right reason.  Do it because you want to be healthy and to stay healthy and not because you want to avoid being ridiculed for not looking like a fitness model.


Over to You

Live your life the way you want to and not the way other people would like you to.  This is your life so own it and don’t let other people dictate how you should live it.  You don’t owe anyone an explanation.  You don’t have to justify yourself to other people.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation.

Are you living your life the way you want to?

I would love to hear from you so feel free to leave your comments or feedback below.

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Noel Rosos

About Noel Rosos

Noel is a husband, father, author, performance coach and self-proclaimed FAILUROLOGIST who helps business owners and struggling individuals convert their failures into opportunities through inspiring blog posts, life-changing books and exceptional one-on-one coaching sessions


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  1. Kaloyan Banev

    No doubt about it. Everybody need to have some personal space and other people should not ask for these things. Unless you really want to share it with close friends.

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Thank you for your comment Kaloyan! I don’t understand either why there are people who ask things that are too personal already but what is important is for us to know that we don’t owe these people any explanation of sorts.

      Have you experienced such before?

  2. drose4real

    “Live your life the way you want to and not the way other people would like you to.” Great point. So many of us are living our lives based on what others think. Nothing like freedom to choose.

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      It’s liberating to be able to live life without thinking of what others may think about you and your decisions. That’s absolute freedom!

      Thanks for your comment Dennis. Cheers!

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