I woke up yesterday with a couple of messages in my Facebook wall all of them containing father’s day greetings. Of course I had a couple of fathers I greeted myself from uncles, friends, brother-in-laws and of course, my very own father who passed away eleven years ago.
Gosh, I didn’t even realize that it has been eleven freakin’ years already since my dad left us. I can still remember as if it was yesterday when I used to have these late night conversations with him. I used to work for a call center back in 1999 and I was always in the mid-shift (2PM to 10PM) and I would always catch my dad still watching late night shows while waiting for me to arrive. My dad and I had a very close relationship and he was not only my dad but also my friend and confidante. It was through him that I got to love basketball and professional wrestling (old school WWF because I don’t get to watch the product anymore). I would also attribute my film-loving nature to him.
I can talk to him about anything under the sun from the girls I was dating to the things that are happening at work. He gave great advice when it comes to these things, especially those relating to my career because he was a department head before he decided to call it quits due to his deteriorating health (he had diabetes). I can only imagine how helpful those words of wisdom can be for me now that I have become a leader myself. Too bad he didn’t live long enough to see me where I am right now.
He was a people person. He had a lot of friends and he was well-respected at work. I know because I practically grew up in that job of his. When I was little we would always visit him in the department store he worked for and everyone would always have nice things to say about him. To them he was a great leader whom everyone can easily approach. Someone who is always willing to help and someone with a great sense of humor that put a smile on everyone’s face. He was a simple man with a brilliant mind.
It seems pretty obvious that I idolized my dad. He was my role model. I don’t think I can measure up to how great a was but I’m proud to say that I was able to inherit some of his best qualities and that’s what role models are all about. Having a positive role model who has done great things and achieved success almost assures you that you will achieve, if not surpass the same amount of success he or she had before you.
A positive role model is someone we would like to become someday. Someone we pattern our personalities and attitudes to. Someone who we admire so much so that we follow their ways, their beliefs and principles because we would like to reach what they attained with those beliefs in tow that’s why it is critical for parents to act with integrity in front of their children because whatever they see in you, they will apply later on.
We become what we get used to
I saw the importance of having a positive role model through the story of one of our family friends. Since they were children, all they’ve been exposed to was the constant bickering between their parents. They’d see them shout and curse at each other, no holds barred. They were not picky when it comes to the insults they would throw at each other and sadly, almost all of their children would eventually have the same kind of marriage. Broken ones.
I’m not into psychology but I do believe that the environment the children grew up with would eventually become their own children’s environment. If you get used to a culture where everyone gets along with each other, pray together every night, and enjoy dinner table conversations, it’s almost certain that your children would adapt the same culture when they become parents themselves.
Everything our role model does is right in our eyes
In our eyes, our idols and role models couldn’t go wrong. This is the reason why we idolize and look up to them but if we’re not careful, we may end up looking at the wrong person to be our role models.
My dad didn’t smoke and only drank occasionally. He was your typical family man whose only destinations were home and office. Qualities I didn’t intentionally imitate but grew naturally in me. Why?
Because I witnessed them first-hand. Growing up, it was all I saw from my dad and it has been instilled in my head that this was the right way to raise a family. This was the right way of becoming a dad and this was how a husband should be. He never told me to be like him someday or for me to do what does so don’t show your children your bad habits because more often than not, they will incorporate those in their own lives too.
This is probably the reason why there are men who cheat on their wives. Most of them probably saw how their fathers would cheat on their mothers and act as if there was nothing wrong with it.
A good role model brings out the best in us
The most important part of having a positive role model is the effect that person would have on you. We look up to someone and want to be what they’ve become because they’ve reached a certain amount of success which we would like to either duplicate or surpass. In short, role models inspire us to become better people. They bring out the best in our abilities and unleash whatever potential we may have. Potentials that have always been inside of us and just waiting to come out and the having a good role model is the first step. Role models should make you become or want to become a better person.
Question: Who was your role model growing up and why?
I’d love to hear your stories so feel free to share by leaving a comment below.
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