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Mar 15

Why Are You Settling for Less Than You Deserve?

settling for less

Are you settling for less than what you deserve?

“The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little.”
― Thomas Merton

I had this colleague back in my previous team who was always agitated come appraisal time and he was consistent in all the three years we’ve worked together so as his supervisor, I decided to talk to him about his career goals one day to so I can help him break this pattern of disappointments he’s been experiencing.

I’ve observed that he didn’t pursue opportunities within the team which will need a lot more work but definitely raise his stock.

“I like where I am already.  Going to and from the office only taking care of my tasks and not having to stress myself in managing people or carrying on extra projects.” he told me.

“Don’t you have any plans of moving up and climbing the corporate ladder?” I asked.

“No.  I’m happy and contented with being one of the staff.  I don’t want to carry on bigger responsibilities.” he replied.

“Then why are you surprised with the appraisal you get?  If you’re not carrying on extra tasks and not doing anything out of the ordinary or beyond what is expected of you, you won’t really get the raise you are looking forward to right?” I asked him.

He paused for a moment and shook his head.

“I think I deserve better.” he replied.

This guy I spoke to never changed his ways and he’s moved on to another company since.  The reason I shared this story is because most of us have the same outlook in life.  We feel we deserve something bigger than we are now getting but we are not willing to do the work to get to where we want to.

Why do we settle for less than what we deserve and want something bigger in return?

 

Because it’s convenient

Every year before the Christmas season, my wife and sister-in-law would always set out to go to this place here in the Philippines called Divisoria.  The place is a haven for shoppers and business owners because of the low price of goods that you can also find in the bigger department stores at a much higher cost.

My wife would ask me to come with her there to buy stuff like shirts or basketball jerseys (which I am fond of) but I would always decline and opt to but it in the mall or department store because of three things:

  1. It’s far
  2. Parking is hell
  3. It’s so crowded you can barely make your way through the stalls without swapping faces with other shoppers.

My take was why go through all the trouble when you can get it somewhere convenient and just spare a couple of pesos more?

That’s how most of us think though, right?

If given the choice, we would always choose convenience and comfort even if experiencing difficulty and discomfort can benefit us more.  I guess most of us are just plain, lazy and I’m not ashamed to admit that I am too darn lazy most of the time.

Don’t settle for less because it’s difficult because if you continue to do so, you will get used to just going for “good enough” instead of getting the best option available.

 

Because everybody does it

We all have the tendency to follow the crowd or to put it in terms that the current generation would understand, we go with what’s “trending” and there’s nothing wrong with that but if this trend you are after is not getting the best out of you, then it’s not worth following.

I often see this with people who try to justify either their laziness or poor decision-making.

“People do this all the time”

“Everyone does it and their well off”

“My friend is doing this and he’s okay”

Why would you pattern your happiness and fulfillment with that of others?

Don’t settle for mediocrity just because everyone does it.  Think big. Dream big.

 

Because you think you’re too ambitious

Let me be the first to say that there’s nothing wrong with dreaming big and setting huge goals.  First of all, it’s free and secondly, it’s your prerogative so don’t worry about what people might think or say about you.

 

Why settle for a million when you can have billions?

Why go for a job if you can start your own business?

Why go for a used car when you can get a new one?

 

We all deserve the best and you owe it to yourself to go after the things that you think is THE BEST because this will drive you to action and motivate you to work harder but you should also recognize the line between a big dream from an unrealistic one.

I can dream of watching an NBA game live but I can be honest with myself that playing for an NBA team is not gonna happen.

 

Because you lack self-confidence

I know people who’ve been through relationship problems and more often than not, women tend to settle for men who they don’t deserve at all.

 

“It’s okay that he has affairs as long as he goes home to me.”

“It’s okay that he beats me because he is a good provider.”

 

News flash: IT’S NOT OKAY!

You can always find a better man who will treat you better and be a better husband or father to your kids so don’t settle for that guy just because he fulfills one or two of the your needs.

Like I’ve said at the start of this article, we all deserve the best and someone who womanize and beats the crap out of you isn’t the best.

The common reason we hear from women who experience this is that they may not be able to find Mr. Right anymore which breeds lack of self confidence and low self-worth.

There’s someone out there who deserves your love and attention and if that someone never comes, you are better off alone than be with someone who doesn’t appreciate you.

 

Because you are resistant to change

Getting out of our comfort zones and welcoming change to our lives can be difficult for some of us but regardless of the adjustment and level of adjustment you’ll have to do, sometimes you just have to go with the flow or get left behind.

One of the major mistakes Kodak made that led to its demise was its failure to take advantage of the opportunities presented by the advent of digital photography.  The company didn’t foresee that digital photography will be the wave of the future so to speak and decided to focus on traditional photography which we all know is almost non-existent in today’s day and age.

Change is a part of life.  It’s inevitable and if you’re not open-minded enough to accept this and choose to settle for what you’ve been used to, then you might be digging your grave little-by-little.

 

Because you are impatient

My friend recently bought a new car and he’s really been very happy about it.  After all, he’s been setting his sights on it for the longest time and saved all the money he can to get it.  He got it around October or November of last year and just this January, a new variant of the same car came out and the looks and features were just a mile away from its predecessor.

“I should have waited for January bro.  I would have gotten this new version if I just held out a bit longer.” he said.

This happens to the best of us come to think of it.  We get so excited with something that we settle for it even if we already knew that something new is about to come and then we end up regretting our decision.

It’s like settling for a job that you thought gave you the best offer but later on get offered a better one if you’ve only been more patient.

Over to You

We all deserve the best and we all know that so before making a decision, weigh your options carefully because for all you know, you may be settling for less than getting more.

Are you settling for less than what you deserve?

When was the last time you did?

What drove you to that decision?

 

I would love to hear from you and I will really appreciate it if you leave a comment or feedback below.  Let’s exchange views and stories and help each other out!

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Noel Rosos

About Noel Rosos

Noel is a husband, father, author, performance coach and self-proclaimed FAILUROLOGIST who helps business owners and struggling individuals convert their failures into opportunities through inspiring blog posts, life-changing books and exceptional one-on-one coaching sessions

4 comments

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  1. awazieikechi

    Hi Noel

    Yeah it is easy to hold on to our comfort zone. The story you shared is so relatable and I have seen people who want so much but are not ready to work to achieve such goal.

    We all want the easy road. We want to make success with the easiest methods that is why people are scammed on daily bases because scammers know this truth.

    The tips you shared are spot on. These factors are indeed the reasons people would settle for less.

    I believe in working smart to achieve my dreams. I am not an advocate for settling for less because we all deserve a better life.

    Thanks for sharing. Take care

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Spot on Ikechi! We all deserve better. In fact we all deserve the best so settling for less isn’t supposed to be an option. Yes it may be easy and comfortable at the moment but we all have to look at the bigger picture. Thanks for stopping by buddy! Always a pleasure to hear from you.

  2. Richard Ortiz

    Neal,

    The biggest belief people do not want to believe is deserving more just like you said. Their cultural or society values or beliefs limits their growth. I for one go through the norms and if something will make me grow I do it even it needs to go against certain customs of beliefs. I prefer to grow that way I can help others gro easier. Thanks for sharing this post. Look forward to working with you etc.

    Richard at http://www.newbetterliving.com

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      I completely agree Richard which is why it is very important to take time for personal development because it’s how we discover things about ourselves that we never thought we had. Appreciate your comment and yes, I am definitely going to look forward to working with you in the future!

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