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Mar 11

7 Useful Tips to Help You Control Your Temper

temper

Managing your temper

I used to work at a call center back in 2007 and I’ve had my share of flare ups from customers who cannot seem to get their product to work.  Being on the receiving end of a customer’s ire is an everyday thing for a call center agent which is really no walk in the park if you ask me.

Being yelled at is an ordinary, day-to-day occurrence in this industry which makes you admire the people working in this field.  If you’re earning your living absorbing people’s wrath, that’s one of a kind.

When I got promoted as a team leader, the situation got to a whole new level because as a team lead, one of your primary responsibilities is to get escalations or “supervisor calls”.  This meant speaking to a different breed of angry customers already since your first-level agents can no longer handle them.

To be fair, not all of them are cursing and shouting as soon as they hear your voice.  Some are calm but firm and commanding while others, well, if they can only breathe fire over the phone I would have probably burned in the first two seconds of the conversation.

Anger is our emotional response to being offended, wronged or violated.  According to Psychologist Howard Kassinove, PhD, of Hofstra University, most normal people experience anger a couple of times in a week.  In a 1997 study conducted by his team, they found that 58 percent of anger episodes resulted in screaming or yelling and less than 10 percent involved physical aggression.

We all have our tipping points.  Most of us can’t control our anger on the road while we’re driving.  When another driver flips us off or cuts us, OH IT’S ON!  I’m pretty sure most of you tried catching up, lowered your windows and gave him a piece of your mind.  Correct?

So how do we keep ourselves in check?  How do we tame that volcano of an anger brewing inside of each of us?  Here are 7 helpful tips you can try.

 

  1. If you can, go for a break or take a time out

Just when you think you’re about to explode or you’re close to that point already, stand up and walk away.  Go get some water or take a walk outside and buy yourself some ice cream.  You need to get your temper down until you’re calm.  Continuing with whatever you’re doing when you got mad may become counter-productive for you.  You can do more and produce great output with a clear and focused mind.

 

  1. Let your anger out as soon as you’ve calmed down

When we say let it out, it means to express it in a non-violent way just so we’re clear.  Verbalizing what made you angry will help release the tension and frustration you felt.  At this point, you can discuss what you’re expectations are clearly without the angst and sarcasm.

Have a heart-to-heart talk and speak in a calm, collected voice.  You’ll be more reasonable and open-minded if you’re no longer emotional.

Avoid sarcasm as much as possible.  The whole point of waiting for you to come to your senses is to get a clear and honest conversation.

 

  1. Pause and think before you speak

If you can prevent yourself from saying something at the heat of the moment, do your best to do so.  It is often in these situations when we say the most hurtful things that we don’t usually mean.  What’s worse is that you can’t take it back.

To those currently in a relationship, this is a relationship-killer so choose your words or regret having said something when you shouldn’t have.

 

  1. Avoid making big decisions

Saying something out of anger is just the tip of the iceberg.  Making decisions while at the peak of your temper is the worst you can do.  You’re the last person who should be making big decisions because your emotions can cloud your judgment which will reap negative results for you.

If you are still emotional after a fight with a girlfriend or boyfriend, sleep on it.  Go make your decisions in the morning when your mind is clear and you’re thinking straight.

 

  1. Find an outlet to vent out your anger

Channeling your anger through certain activities will help get your temper down.  You can do extreme workout routines, listen to relaxing music, watch a movie, or read a book; anything to keep you engaged.

My outlet a few years back were video games.  To get my frustrations out, I just play my favorite games and though it doesn’t remove all the anger, it definitely helps bring it down.  Do whatever works for you.

 

  1. Don’t hold any grudge

Just like what I mentioned in a previous post, we should always find it in our heart to forgive.  Forgiveness will totally release you from the anger you felt and give you the peace of mind you need.  You can’t go around carrying the bitterness inside you.  You’ll never achieve true happiness if you decide to live like that.

Don’t take it personally.  Have an open mind.  Not everyone is out to get you or piss you off.  It may have been unintentional for all you know.

 

 

  1. Change your way of thinking

Analyzing what set you off would come a long way.  This will help you know your tolerance level toward a certain situation or toward your pet peeves.  This may also present you with an opportunity to lower your expectations towards other people or certain situations so that you don’t easily get mad or irritated.

So the next time you’re out on the road and someone cuts you off or gives you the middle finger, pause for a moment, breathe, and ask yourself the following questions:

“Is this really worth ruining my day?”

“Will getting back at that person do me any good?”

“What will I gain if I let the other person hear me out?”

Anger is most of the time a spur-of-the-moment thing feeling, an outburst.  If we learn how to control and manage it, little-by-little we can avoid losing our temper that quick and be more patient next time.

 

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Noel Rosos

About Noel Rosos

Noel is a husband, father, author, performance coach and self-proclaimed FAILUROLOGIST who helps business owners and struggling individuals convert their failures into opportunities through inspiring blog posts, life-changing books and exceptional one-on-one coaching sessions

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