Oct 22

8 Powerful Ways to Fight the Victim Mentality

victim mentality

How do you overcome your victim mentality?

“Self pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.”
― John Gardner

One of the bad habits I have that I still have difficulty shaking off even at my age is that of having a victim mentality.  Every time I get into trouble or hear people saying nasty things about me, I always find myself wallowing in self-pity.  I’m sure you’ve all been through this mindset too and I think we can all agree that no matter how hard you try to stay positive and move on from it, you simply can’t get away from it.

Why do we like to be the victim?  Why do we choose to stay in total sadness instead of taking action to get out of it?  I haven’t found the answers to these questions but the only thing I can guarantee is that there are ways to fight it and here are some of them:

1. Take responsibility – Having a victim mentality begins with the blame game.  Instead of taking responsibility for the mistakes you made, you look for other people or circumstances to blame thus making you the victim of people’s cruelty or circumstance.  POOR YOU!

Time for you to man up.  Don’t be afraid to admit the mistakes you made because a person who knows how to take responsibility for his faults is a person who knows how to take responsibility for his life.  Get rid of these self-esteem issues and keep your head up!

2. Be confident of who you are – If you know you have greatness within you and you understand that you can’t be right all the time, there’s no reason why you should consider yourself a victim.  Bad things happen to good people and that is a fact of life that you have to learn to accept.

Life is like a wheel.  Sometimes you’re on top, other times you’re at the bottom but you won’t be there for long unless you chose to do so.

3. Don’t ever think that you’re entitled – Just like any other human being, you will experience bad things along the way.  You will fail, get ridiculed, and be judged the wrong way no matter who you are.  The problem with people is that some of us feel entitled or privileged that we get this crazy idea that somehow, you should be spared of all these negative circumstances.  Bad things can happen to you even if you’re the kindest, the friendliest, or the most generous person around and it won’t help for you to think that you are an exception.

4. Stop with all the drama – The mishaps that happen to us are sometimes not really that big of a deal.  They just get magnified because we get too dramatic.  Not everyone is after you.  There’s no conspiracy for everyone to make your life a living hell.  You are miserable because you chose to be.

5. Be grateful – Whenever you feel like nothing’s going your way and that everyone has turned their backs on you, always tell yourself that somewhere, someone else is going through something worse and that in your situation, you should be thankful instead of being lonely.  I’ve tried this and it has been very effective in driving away self-pity so the next time you get reminded of how much you hate your job, smile, because thousands of other people would kill to have a job like yours.

6. Forgive – One of the possible reasons why we like to be victims is because of our unwillingness to forgive the people who wronged us.  We try to hold on to all the bitterness and resentment without realizing that these feelings are already holding us back.  The only way to set yourself free of all the negative vibes is to forgive and move forward.  Forgive the people who did you wrong and forgive yourself from your failures.  Set yourself free.

7. Love yourself – Aren’t you tired of being depressed and miserable all the time?  You’re only punishing yourself by becoming a victim so why don’t you give yourself a break and stop with all the self-pity.  Take your mind off by turning your focus on things you enjoy.  Pamper yourself because you deserve it.

8. Stop thinking that everything’s about you – Life happens for each and every one of us and as we go through it, there will be a few bumps along the way but that’s perfectly normal and no one is to blame for such bumps.  Other people may have caused you pain but intentional or not, you have to understand that it’s not always about you.  Things happen for a reason and you have to drop the mindset that they’re all happening to you because of you.

Life will make us experience all kinds of emotion.  It will make us feel joy, satisfaction and comfort but it may also make us feel sorrow and despair.  The key is to have the right mindset because life is not perfect.  Nothing is.  The good news is even if you are faced with a difficult situation, you can stay happy and it’s all within your control.

How do you break out of a victim mentality?

I would love to hear what you have to say so feel free to leave a comment or feedback below.


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Noel Rosos

About Noel Rosos

Noel is a husband, father, author, performance coach and self-proclaimed FAILUROLOGIST who helps business owners and struggling individuals convert their failures into opportunities through inspiring blog posts, life-changing books and exceptional one-on-one coaching sessions

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