«

»

Mar 19

6 Undeniable Signs Your Pride is Taking Over Your Life

pride

Are you letting pride take over your life?

“Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need.”
― Kahlil Gibran, Sand and Foam       tweet this!

My wife and I have been together for more than ten years and our relationship has been through several storms so to speak.  I believe it’s part of every relationship to have misunderstandings and it’s perfectly normal.  In fact, I believe it’s healthy because it is through these petty quarrels that spouses get to know each other better;  that they learn what the other likes or dislikes so that such lack of communication won’t happen again.

Ever since we were dating and even until now, one of the traits I saw in my wife (which she doesn’t deny because I asked her before writing this post) was her refusal to say sorry even when it’s obviously her fault.  Well, she just told me that there was never a time she was at fault so I guess I have to accept that explanation or I won’t be sleeping in our bedroom tonight.

Kidding aside, I know my wife so well already and  know that even if she doesn’t actually say it, there have been times in the past where her actions told me otherwise.  She’s not as prideful in other things anyway.

It’s amazing what pride can make us do.  After all, it wouldn’t be considered the most serious of the seven deadly sins if it wasn’t a big deal.  It was even said that it is the source of the other sins.  The best example would have to be the story of Lucifer whose pride and desire to compete with God was what caused his fall from Heaven.

Unfortunately, some people gives pride permission to take over their lives which they don’t realize can cause so much damage not only to themselves but also to their relationships and happiness.

One of the reasons I started this blog is because I want everyone to experience happiness and that won’t happen if you have so much pride present in you life.  When will ever learn that too much of anything or a lack of it, is always bad for us?

If you are not aware, below are 6 signs you should look out for to know if you are letting pride take over:

 

1. You find it difficult to admit your mistakes

I’m sure we all had this happen to us when we know we are wrong but we’re too embarrassed to admit that we are.  It’s a natural tendency for people to deny that they were wrong but what we don’t realize is that it doesn’t really take away all the negative feelings if we do that because at the back of our minds, we would always know that we were wrong that won’t go away regardless of what kind of excuse or alibi we come up with.

I had a colleague before who made a critical mistake that he was fully aware of.  Instead of informing management, he tried to resolve the problem on his own but the impact of that mistake was far too big already when management learned about it.  He lost his job because of this and had he informed immediately, the result might have gone the other way.

 

2. You find it difficult to say sorry even when you know you’re wrong

This happens a lot specifically with young people in relationships as well as between family members.

When I was little, my friends and I would always get into a fight over small things like not lending a toy or when one of us loses his cool because of constant teasing.  I remember back then, such quarrels happen, the two boys involved would get out of their way to “recruit” friends to take their side and divide our group into two factions.  This will normally last for a week or two before everyone realize how stupid and childish we all were.

Unfortunately, adults can be childish at times too.  I’ve known several people who don’t speak to their parents for years or siblings who has been at odds with each other for the longest time because they had a disagreement and none of them had the humility to take the first move towards reconciliation.

 

3. You refuse to back off an argument even if you know you’ve lost

Ever heard of the saying it’s better to be happy than to be right?

This is one of the best examples of how pride can be blinding.  You get into an argument, you lay out all your points, you realize your points are weak and that you lost the argument but you continue to impose what you believe. not because you are right but because you don’t want the other person to win.  CLASSIC!

We had a childhood friend before who has this bad habit of always trying to top everyone.  When someone says he has a Bumblebee action figure, this guy will say he has an Optimus Prime.  If your family owns a car, they have two.  If you have a dog, they have a tiger.  Okay, the tiger part is just a joke but do you get what I mean?  In every discussion or argument, he always has to be the best even if he has to lie.

Learn to choose your battles because there are some that you just cannot win.

 

4. You always compare

According to Dave Ramsey’s book, The Total Money Makeover, one of the reasons people get into debt is because of our tendency to compare ourselves to others.

If neighbor A buys a new car, we feel obliged to buy one too even if it’s not in our plans and even if we don’t have the budget.  We just feel like we need to buy one of our own so as not to be left behind.

Run your own race and stop competing with others.

 

5. You’re afraid to ask questions

As a manager, I prefer people who ask a lot of questions if they’re not certain about a particular subject than act on their own without resolving their confusion.

Pride seems to give us this idea that when we ask questions, we tend to look weak and not knowledgeable enough but you must remember that even if you are the CEO of a company, there are still things that others know better than you and that it’s not a sign of ignorance to ask questions when the situation calls for it.

This is one of the mistakes I made when I was a new leader.  My idea was that I should know everything and that asking questions would make me look weak and not worthy of my position but this decision made life even worse because it lead to mistakes instead of good decisions.

 

6. You’re afraid to say “I don’t know”

Pride can make us pretend to be someone we are not especially when it comes to admitting our lack of knowledge of a particular subject.  Like I said above, you cannot know everything and that there will be subjects that other people will know more of compared to you and this is not bad at all!

Even Wikipedia doesn’t have all the answers so why prolong the agony of pretending to know everything?  If you don’t know the answer to a question, just say you don’t know.  That’s it!

It doesn’t make you less of a person to admit that you don’t know something.

 

The Takeaway

You can’t be happy if you let pride run your life because it will eventually eat at you and drive the people you love away from you.  Stop being self-centered and let other people have their moment from time-to-time and give credit where credit is due.

 

Over to You

Are you letting pride run your life?  Do you consider yourself prideful?  If yes, why?

I would love to hear from you so feel free to leave a comment below or share your stories.  I would appreciate it!

 

You can also share this content via twitter

Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE to the BLOG and be part of a growing community!

Noel Rosos

About Noel Rosos

Noel is a husband, father, author, performance coach and self-proclaimed FAILUROLOGIST who helps business owners and struggling individuals convert their failures into opportunities through inspiring blog posts, life-changing books and exceptional one-on-one coaching sessions

33 comments

5 pings

Skip to comment form

  1. Ikechi Awazie

    You so brilliantly show that pride comes before a fall.

    I can relate this post so well because I have so many people destroyed by pride.

    Looking at the Six signs, they are so true especially where you talk about people who love to win arguments.

    I use to have a friend that would always pride in being right all the time. He told that he felt bad if he was proven wrong. I advised him on such mindset but he did not listen to me.

    Thanks for such a great post.

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Thanks Ikechi. I think we’ve all been through these six signs at one point in our lives and what’s important is we learn from our mistakes. I am most guilty of having difficulty admitting my mistakes because I thought it made me less of a person if people found out that I was wrong. I learned that there should be no shame in making mistakes because we’re only human and that we should always stay humble no matter what.

      Thanks for the comments and for always sharing my blog posts Ikechi! Appreciate it a lot.

  2. Maria V

    I have a fiance and he has so much pride and one of them is admitting his guilt. He always blames me for everything bad he does or if he doesn’t make it somewhere on time. He also has the tendency to always be “right” or win over any arguements we have. Another thing is is that he always has to be number 1, and he includes his family too. Like when he says his family is not like my family because his is better than mine. What I’m trying to say is that he doesn’t realize that you’re right when you say that pride can be bad because in one point the person doesn’t realize that he’s hirting the person he’s with and it’s surroundings.

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Hi Maria,

      Thank you for sharing your story. Well, your fiance is not only prideful, he also seems to be the type who does not take responsibility for his actions. Yes, having so much pride can really hurt the ones we love because we don’t take into consideration what others may feel as long as our actions satisfy our egos. Have you spoken to him about this or ever brought this up?

      It’s best you sit down with him and talk to him. Make him realize slowly but surely what he’s missing (or refusing to recognize) about himself until he comes to his senses.

      Hope everything will become well.

      1. Maria V

        Yes I Have Spoken To Him But He Always Laughs Or He Thinks Its Just My Imagination. He Just Doesnt Want To Hear Me, He Tells Me It Is Really Annoying When I Tell Him The Samething All Over Again.

        Thank You, I Hope He Realizes It Soon!

        1. Noel Rosos
          Noel Rosos

          You did your part. The rest is up to him but I tell you, better someone told him just like you did than realizing it the hard way.

  3. Sandra Vargas

    Hi, this is my first time reading your post or any post really, i was on the internet trying to find help and things i can do to put my pride aside that’s when i came across your blog and read all your six signs and felt so horrible because it was like i was checking each one as i went down the list. I’m 26 years old a mommy of two… and i have so much pride to were it blinds me and i have been through hell this year because if my pride. It’s gotten to the point were i know I’m in the wrong and i can’t even admit it i feel like maybe i should try to seek some type of counseling. My Boyfriend which known as the father of my kids seems to be giving up on me already and i can honestly say i don’t blame him. He is the best thing that’s ever happened to me and has literally been there for me through EVERYTHING. And it hurts me that I’m hurting him because of my pride. I just want to thank you because somehow reading your blog i saw myself if that makes any sense, and realized that i really need to Change and that i shouldn’t feel afraid to seek help because i honestly don’t know what to do anymore i feel like my PRIDE has TAKEN over my life. Thank you so much for this.

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Knowing I made a difference in someone else’s life makes writing blogs all worth it. I’m glad my article has helped you. Put the past behind you and if your boyfriend is indeed the best thing that happened to you just like you said, you have to fight for him and do everything you can for him to stay in your life. You are on the right track Sandra, believe me. The fact that you recognize your mistakes and that you accept full responsibility for it is already a sign of good things to come.

      Things are about to change for the better. Look ahead and enjoy life with your kids and boyfriend. Life is too short to keep yourself from being happy. You are in control, you know what you want, so go for it.

      Wish you all the best and if you ever need guidance, you can always talk to me. Have a great weekend!

  4. annalize

    I strongly have seen pride comes to a fall. To stay humble is one of my goals in life, that opens so many doors!

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Absolutely Annalize! Stay humble but remain confident. Enjoy your weekend!

  5. Jericho Abriol Gatbonton

    I was held between two ideas: being treated unfairly at work by a salary deduction for every mistake I will do (e.g. wrong grammar, being late, unfair treatment to kids, etc.) but I will be forever treasured by my co-teachers, and resigning from the job, at the cost of everything (e.g. the salary, the work itself, the friendship, etc.), but I feel like I will be free from another sin.

    But then, I decided to follow the second idea, because of many things. The catch is, I felt like I am not myself. I realized that I had been very proud, just because I don’t wanna be seen as a weak person. I thought since they had seen me as a strong person, I must show them till the end that I am one. But, reading your article, I realized I was all too wrong.

    Given the circumstances, and that I resigned already, how can I make up to them? I don’t know how. Please give me some advice. I feel like this is my heavy burden till I have peace.

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      First of all thank you for reading my article Jericho. Pride can be a difficult thing to dangle and I would like to help you. Please send me a private message so we can talk about your problem and take you out of your dillema.

  6. Dee

    I am struggling with my 19 year old great nephew whom I’ve raised since he was 18 months. His mom and dad were teenagers when they had him, then his dad went to prison and his mom wasn’t interested in being tied down so I took him (custodial/guardianship). My question is could his circumstances have caused this overflow of pride? He also has a lying problem and my thinking is he lied to keep his classmates from knowing where his dad was and/or having to explain where his mom was. He is breaking my heart.

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      I am very sorry to hear that Dee. What is your relationship with him like? Are you close? I can’t really say that the way he is right now is a direct result of his circumstances but there is a possibility which is why I want to know how your relationship is with him. Add to the fact that he’s 19 and you know how teenagers are. I think there’s a lack of communication between you two so let’s talk about this in private. I want to help you on this matter further so do reach out to me either via Facebook or Skype.

  7. Laura

    I apparently wear my heart on my sleeve. I allow people to hurt me to the point that it makes me physically ill. As I was sitting here writing in my journal I wrote that they hurt my pride. So I looked the word up and came across this. Am I using the correct word”pride”? Or is there another word for what I allow them to do to me?

  8. Laura

    Are there different meanings for pride

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Hi Laura. I think the word you’re looking for is self-worth when you said that people are hurting your pride. Pride is more of a feeling of satisfaction for ones achievements.

  9. Sierra Basgall

    Please in need of advice. Okay I started seeing the guy 9 months ago and didn’t know he had a gf at the time. I was mad but no string attached few weeks later I got back with my sons dad for 2 weeks then split ended up with same guy no string attached. 3/4 months go by he says she is moving out she did then moved back in long story short we fell in love with each but he his worth slot of money and she is a butch and since they have a kid together she will take him for everything so for the past 9 month pretty much he has been selling everything off. Liquidating all in cash and she can get her 50000 and be done well I always try and make him proud he ha a name good friend and I have the Complete opposite I always ask him why he’s he says I sell myself short and that might be but now he saying was we done because I did something that made it look bad is happened like 2 or 3 times different situations. The one I’m needing advice for is this. He always says my friends are losers and I need to get better friends I agree so I quit talking all my friends and I don’t so I know it me up on Facebook yesterday and I’m met him but not like you know the handshake whatever we said a couple words to each other that was it what we talked about you know getting no each other movie you don’t coming friends whatever so I go to town I went and stopped and talk to my boyfriend Tom to get some money for a TV that was in ago get well I will then I went and picked up my friend will him that guy nine my friend yet and we’re gonna grab something to eat and using a run to get the TV with me and then I was gonna take came back well I don’t store to get something and I leave my money for the TV which is $100 under my wallet in my bag thinking that he would look through my stuff to get to it and I think you see me put it there we’re not taking us money and denied it and then I did Nied it why drop his ass off and I had to call Tom tell him and Tom is pissed off first time was saying a sneaking around he says I sneak around and I don’t tell him the things I don’t try and hide it from him but I also don’t think I have to tell him first of all because he knows I don’t sleep around it I think he thinks there’s like some crush I just met or something like that. No I was trying to do is make better friends for him because if I had a job he’s into drugs and doing the shit he’s a good guy I thought it was nothing I can do about that but I did wasn’t doing nothing wrong I wasn’t hiding it from him I wasn’t sneaking around you know I just didn’t think I had freaking tell me listen to for because you don’t realize is they told me nothing asking he’s doing he lies what do I do how do I get a stick that I don’t do the wrong things lately and trying to do good things

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Sorry Sierra but I didn’t understand the problem. Is he always doubting you of sneaking around? Are you asking how you can avoid doing the wrong things?

    2. Jayy ev

      U Need To Therapist

  10. Sierra Basgall

    Help

  11. Sierra Basgall

    Need advice

  12. Jayy ev

    i got pride

  13. John

    My pride kills me, now starting to see that I get lost in education, books, the gym, healthy eating, and I struggle to say I don’t know, and wishing people well, although I say it, my feelings don’t match up

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      The good thing about this John is that you recognize how you pride affects you. It is now up to you how you will overcome this difficulty and I know you can do it!

  14. Terry

    What you just wrote about it’s just explaining a narcissist plain and simple. I have dated one on and off for seven years. That’s why it’s off for good now I’m tired of someone that would rather ruin a relationship tha to say they’re sorry that is just ignorant

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      I agree Terry. Pride and narcissism can go hand-in-hand and it is a lethal combination. Sorry to hear about your bad experience. Hope you’ve found someone who is the opposite.

  15. QueQue

    this is great, i think the person I’m dealing with now is too prideful and also narcissist.
    I’m dealing with someone for a lil over 3 months now and went through an abortion together, he was there for the surgery. I felt like he wasn’t giving me the attentiveness, care, and nurture i needed after even when i voiced it out. i try to be strong and cool about it thinking i’ll be ok but i clearly wasn’t, I went about it passively too. He said ” if u were tell me thats what you wanted you should’ve just told me” I just felt like it was a no brainer for him to turn up his care especially 2 days after the surgery. After 2 days of the surgery i had to drive 6.5hours away for a job i couldn’t turn down, i told him i’m going to need you to keep me up so call me as often as possible he said “ok”, 2.5 hr in to my drive he called me and told me he was going to be at starbucks working so he’ll call me later. didn’t ask how i was feeling. when i got to my destination i was like were you not concerned about me getting here safe ? He responses is ” you always bragged about how good your driving was, why would i be concerned?, what could happen if you’re so good at driving ? I’m was so confused and pissed that he said that to me again only after 2 days of the surgery, we got into and told him the abortion is affecting me and all i wanted was for you to just ask me more frequently if I’m OK.
    anyways, things cooled off that week and i had to drive back home 6.5hrs again. So i stopped by his house before i went home we had dinner everything was ok.
    I had a vape pen with me and when i left his i didn’t see vape pen in my car so i texted about it he said no its in the car, i checked and it was there so I called him i asked he it might’ve dropped outside of your parking lot do u mind checking to see if its on the floor his immediate reaction was ” are serious, I’m not your fucking slave, this situation is stupid i should’ve said no to checking for your pen and its NOT here,” i was again confused why he would be so mad about it, he hung up and i called him back to apologize and i said i found the vape pen it was in back seat. He was still mad but no knowing that the vape pen has been helping me cope with the anxiety and the big situation we went through. i called him back for the 3rd time and i stared crying how its been difficult for me and he completely disregarded my feelings and said ” how is your emotions my responsibility” I was completely thrown off like I’m pouring my heart to you and you’re going that to me? and i told him the vape been has been my coping way to feel some what OK. so i started crying even more and he said ” are you going to keep crying or are we going to talk” i started to cry even more and i just “I’m done” and he said ” ok your done” and he hung up.
    5 days after that situation, i called him up, during the 5 days I’m was extremely hurt thinking how he didn’t’ even bother to check on me and just push everything else aside and check on my well being.
    we spoke briefly and I told him, I would like to speak in person about all this and he agreed and met up, i wanted to see how we can move forward from all this and if i told him i want to be nurturing towards me. he said it is not a problem but he also said have you of just told me how important that vape pen was too you i wouldn’t have gotten so mad.
    things were ok after the talk but i didn’t get the much clarity from it and i didn’t get the apology from him for saying those hurtful things that made me cry even more, so i asked him if we could meet again the next day. He told me he doesn’t apologize unless the situation deserves and apology and he was taught to only apologize when you know you’re wrong, so i gave it a thought I told my friends about it and they said ” he should apologize cuz this isn’t just about the vape pen, it all stems from the abortion”
    We met for dinner everything was fine but then when i brought it up he said the same things, we got into he ended apologizing and he said DO NOT talk to me. I’m like your Pride is going ruin so much for you. so i didin’t talk to him the whole night we went to bed and then we woke up and i grabbed his arm and he just turned the other way, I’m thinking to myself are you serious? you’re still mad like this isn’t just about you, i was the one who went through all the emotional and psychical stress, i should be PISSED that you’re not MANNING up to be there for me.
    I tried talking to him and I asked him can we speak about this ? he ignored me and when i touched his arm he said ” dont touch me” i said can we handle this like adults please, can you get off your phone and stop playing video games ” he responds i can do whatever i want” i said ” what are 5 years old, stop acting childish about this and talk to me” and he continue to ignore me. I asked him why is he so mean to me, he says ” oh i’m the mean one i’m the boogy man ” so asked again can we just talk about this please I said if you’re mad about apology then tell me and if you need more time to cool off tell me and i said the abortion has been weighing on me and you being this way isn’t fair and its NOt all about you. he ended saying ” u didnt even have a baby in u to be this upset ” i started crying really hard and i’m like you’re really going to say that to me he said ” i said it” and i was said if you hate me then tell me he said ” i don’t like u not anymore”
    I’m now at a point where I’m
    I just not going to take the abuse anymore ” how could u keep saying mean things to me to keep having these tears run down my eyes”

    i need some help understanding this sort of abusive, prideful behavior and what should i do?

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Sorry about everything that happened to you. I can’t imagine how difficult and painful these have been. Please reach out to me via one of Facebook. I would like to help you with your situation but we have to do it privately and not here in the comments for everyone to see. Just let me know so we can talk.

  16. Jenny Ramirez

    I think I have too much pride and I just lost the love of my life because of it. I fight over little things with my ex fiancée she just left the house because of a stupid argument that escalated and instead of admitting I was wrong I let her go. I don’t know what to do to make it better I’ve been this way my whole life I don’t think I’ll ever be able to change I don’t know where to start

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      The fact that you admit you’re wrong is a good first step. The next thing to do is learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and if you really love her that much, that pride should not get in the way. Never too late to change but it must start with you wanting to change.

  17. Walter

    Pride is a silent killer of destiny, because you will never know the impact of your actions until it is late.

    1. Noel Rosos
      Noel Rosos

      Absolutely agree Walter. Pride is blinding that way until regret and realization sets in

  1. 6 Undeniable Signs Your Pride is Taking Over Your Life - And All That Other Good Stuff

    […] This post was originally published on March 19, 2015 at http://lifeshowyouliveit.com/your-pride-is-taking-over-your-life/ […]

  2. URL

    … [Trackback]

    […] There you will find 72106 more Infos: lifeshowyouliveit.com/your-pride-is-taking-over-your-life/ […]

  3. Bdsm slave positions

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More on|Find More|Read More Infos here|Here you will find 80128 more Infos|Infos on that Topic: lifeshowyouliveit.com/your-pride-is-taking-over-your-life/ […]

  4. www.//sscn.bkn.go.id

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here|Read More|Find More Infos here|Here you can find 13481 additional Infos|Infos to that Topic: lifeshowyouliveit.com/your-pride-is-taking-over-your-life/ […]

  5. Shemale.UK

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More on|Read More|Find More Informations here|There you can find 71308 more Informations|Informations on that Topic: lifeshowyouliveit.com/your-pride-is-taking-over-your-life/ […]

Leave a Comment and Let's Talk!